We can sleep when we are dead... sure!

oh boy....

Talk about exhausting- having twins at home.  We brought Mila home about 11 days ago and she is doing great.  So is Sebby (Sebastian).  They are precious, adorable, perfect, beautiful and all those other fluffy adjectives to describe newborn miracles.  My DH and I have helped each other out with the late night feedings, changings and cries but it primarily is in my court.  Since I am now at home just four weeks after giving birth to them and he works a more than full time job here in Omaha.  I find it very hard to get much sleep even between their feedings. As you see below- they are SUPER CUTE! :)

This is how we have it laid out for the most part thanks to the guidance of those helpful RN's in the NICU at Methodist Women's Hospital:

• wake each child slowly by changing their diapers if they are not already waking up and do so about every 3-4 hours- typically we are being told by the twins they are ready just before three hours
• then prepare their bottles by warming them in a steam bottle warmer and feed them

This process is a good 20 minutes for the feeding as the nurses taught us that over 20 minutes of feeding is too much for newborns as they are then burning more calories than consuming.  The diaper changing, burping and getting them back to sleep could be another 20 minutes.  So, with twins we are spending about a hour or more per feeding time.  This makes it very hard to get myself back to sleep.  I am spent.  I get the baby blues thing now.  Baby blues are the mildest of the levels of sadness felt by 70-80% of new mothers.  I find myself happy one moment and sad the next.  It is just exhausting.

I love my children so much, it's just very very hard to raise them thus far.  Challenging.  I don't know about you but I hear every little coo and grunt they make so I wake easily.  I have found that their binkys can be my worst enemies and after researching the situation of them falling out of the mouths of newborns, I have decided I need to cut back on my use of them.  Pacifiers were given to them in the NICU as they are proven to increase weight gain in preemies by strengthening their sucks early on.  But, when putting them to bed and they have their pacifiers falling out of their mouths- it can become disturbing to them and fast.

Last night (Christmas Eve), Nate stayed up all night and watched the babies.  Why did he stay up all night? Because he was worried he would sleep through a feeding and he knew I needed sleep like something severe.  I actually messed up the spiral ham and the cinnamon apples I made for Christmas dinner on Sunday here at my house for my side of the family.  I was a very grouchy and irritable person that day and it was totally out of my hands and out of my control.  My husband has been working way too much: evenings, days, weekends, holidays for the most part that when he works I am expected to handle the babies both while he sleeps and while away at work.  Of course we have discussed on many occasions how this is not conducive to twin life for new parents who both want to be hands on.  This just makes things more difficult- primarily for me.  I have never felt to selfish as I type this but I am tired.  Sigh.  True story.

Tomorrow the twins are 4 weeks old.  It's crazy.  Very crazy... We spent so much time in the hospital and in the NICU that 4 weeks just flew by.  Mila was released on a Friday weighing 4 lbs 2 ounces I believe and by Monday she was 4 lbs 7 ounces.  Sebastian was at the dr that Friday and was weighed in at 5 lbs and by Monday he had plumped up to 5 lbs 9 ounces.  Their pediatrician said it was better than textbook for both of them.  We waited a full ten years ever so impatiently to start a family and this is exactly what we wanted and wouldn't trade it for the world.  We wouldn't have it any other way.  Just wish it were easier.  We look forward to them sleeping more through the night.  :)